This article first appeared in the August, 2007 edition of the Jacksonville Business Journal
Of all our work relationships, the one we have with our immediate manager is the most important. A poor relationship with an immediate manager is the number one reason why employees leave an organization.
On the other hand, a positive relationship with a manager is the strongest link that an employee can have with a company. Good managers provide work clarity, create meaningfulness, serve as coaches and mentors, and help employees grow and develop.
Unfortunately, too often an employee’s relationship with his manager is difficult, strained, or unfulfilling. While it may be tempting for the employee to blame the manager, it is more effective to learn how to work with a difficult manager and help him become a better boss. In the end it makes you more successful as well and creates a more enjoyable work environment.
Here are the three most common manager difficulties and how to address them.
Sam The Silent
Sam the Silent is the manager who doesn’t communicate. Sam doesn’t have staff meetings or one-on-one meetings with his direct reports. He doesn’t share information. He doesn’t set measurable goals and expectations. He doesn’t brief people. He doesn’t provide feedback.
Sam may think he’s too busy. Sometimes he thinks he’s communicating when he’s only giving short term task assignments. He may be shy or an introvert. Regardless, the relationship is difficult.
If your manager doesn’t communicate with you then double your efforts to communicate with him. Include your manager on key emails. Schedule briefing sessions. Ask questions. Be proactive in creating better communications. If your manager isn’t setting up one-on-one sessions with you, then you should set them up with him. If your manager doesn’t give you measurable goals, then create what you think those goals and measures should be and schedule a meeting with him to review, modify, and endorse them.
If you assume 100% responsibility for the quality of your communication with your manager you will take the actions that lead to mutual success. And that is important for both of you.
Mary The Micromanager
The second biggest employee complaint is about the micromanager boss. This boss wants to know all the details about everything. She wants to be involved in every decision. You feel disempowered.
Your manager may not realize that she is doing your job rather than her own. She may have a high need for control. She may have a micromanager boss herself who wants to know all the details so she feels she has to know everything to answer any questions. What do you do?
First, take a few weeks to write down every time you think your manager has committed micromanagement acts. Is the list smaller than you thought which might mean you are overreacting? Let’s assume that is not the case and you are dealing with a heavy weight micromanager. Look at the events. Is there some commonality to them? Is the same type of information always being requested? Is the event triggered by a request for information from her boss? Is it always about the same business results? Look for a pattern to understand the root cause of the problem.
Then have a private meeting with your manager. Describe the micromanagement activities that are particularly frustrating to you. Use specific examples. Then shift to mutual problem solving to find a way for her to get what she needs without interfering with your job. Develop a plan together to accommodate her needs for information and involvement that allows you perform your work with the authority and autonomy you need. Then set up ongoing mutual feedback sessions.
Ivan The Terrible
Ivan’s problem is interpersonal style. He may be very competent and provide clear direction. But his interpersonal style is painful. Ivan may display quick flashes of anger. He may be rude, brusque or sarcastic. His style keeps employees on edge and creates an unhealthy work environment.
Ivan may not be fully aware of the impact he has on others. Or Ivan may think that his interpersonal style is effective in getting the results he wants. Some managers believe that fear and intimidation keep employees towing the line.
This is a difficult situation to address and requires courage and interpersonal skills. Once again, develop a log and write down specific situations, what triggered them, and their effects.
Then share with Ivan the personal impact his behavior is having on you and the work environment. You have to help Ivan realize that his behavior is having an undesired a negative impact.
You can’t ask Ivan to change his personality. But you can ask him to treat you the way he would expect to be treated – with mutual respect and integrity. Come to agreement about how you will treat each other. Then set up future feedback sessions to reinforce the new behavior.
Why Bother?
Some employees say: “Why should I stick my neck out? If my manager isn’t doing a good job that’s his problem, not mine.” Unfortunately if your relationship with your manager is less than desirable you suffer the consequences every day. Making your manager more successful may be just the solution to create a healthier and more productive work environment for yourself.
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