This article first appeared in the April, 2005 edition of the Jacksonville Business Journal
Consider this question. "If you were not performing your job to your manager's satisfaction, would you rather know or not know that you were failing to meet expectations?" Everyone I know says they would rather be told so they could do something about it. I agree.
Why We Don't Give Feedback
We all want to know how we are doing. Yet, the lack of performance feedback is a "top of the list" item that employees complain about. Why are leaders so reluctant to give honest or tough feedback?
The answer is fear. We don't give feedback because we are afraid it won't be received well. We fear the employee will react defensively or with anger. We fear the feedback will cause ill will and our relationship will be even worse. So we say nothing. Sometimes we fear hurting the other person's feelings. We don't want them to be embarrassed, or ashamed, or feel incompetent. So we "spare their feelings" and say nothing. Some of us fear confrontation. It makes us uncomfortable. We feel awkward. So we say nothing.
Regardless of the reason, the consequence is the same - the employee remains unaware of the impact of his/her behavior and performance stays the same.
The Potential Devastating Impact
I have observed a company during the painful process of laying off several thousand employees because of poor company performance. Management identified the bottom twenty percent of the work force for the layoff. In almost every case, the astonished employee made this comment: "But I just received my performance evaluation a couple of months ago and you said that I was exceeding expectations. If I was in the bottom twenty percent why didn't you tell me? I might have been able to do something about it!"
Did these managers - in the name of sparing the feelings of underperformers - really do these employees a favor by allowing their underperformance to cost them their jobs? I think not.
Guidelines to Follow
Giving tough feedback is difficult. But it can be positive if we follow a few basic rules.
First, provide feedback when you see the undesired behavior. If feedback is specific and tied to a real event it can be discussed in an objective manner. A general statement such as: "You've been coming in late a lot over the past few months. That's not acceptable behavior." is likely to generate a general, defensive, denial response. But feedback about coming in late this morning is in the present and can be addressed as such.
Second, start by stating your positive intention. I had a sales rep who was very resistant to my feedback. I solved the problem with this simple statement. "Ed, I want you to be successful. When I give you feedback it is not to chastise or punish you. It is to help you be more successful." That simple statement of positive intent turned his head around. When he understood that my intentions were for his benefit his response was positive - even when the content of the feedback wasn't.
Third, provide feedback about the person's behavior, not his personality. If I say: "Fred, you are a negative person" I am attacking Fred's personality. But I might say: "Fred, you made seven negative statements at that meeting and not a single positive comment. You left the clear message that you do not support this project, even though you have told me privately how excited you are about it." Now I can talk with Fred about his behavior; not his personality or negative style.
Fourth, reinforce that behavior has consequences. I told a manager that his behavior created intimidation in his employees. He said: "That's good. Then they'll do what I say." I then asked him what behaviors are created by feelings of intimidation. When he saw that the consequence of intimidation is withdrawal he realized that his behavior created an unintended negative consequence...and he changed.
Finally, feedback must include personal choice. Accepting feedback is the recipient's choice. However, it is also important that the recipient understand the consequences of ignoring the feedback. And the consequences must be implemented consistently.
Honest feedback is the heart of a relationship between two people. As leaders, performance is our responsibility. If we fail to give feedback then we suffer the consequences. Feedback given with good intentions, a focus on behavior and its consequences, and the freedom of choice is a powerful and positive tool.
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